I love the spirit of the holiday and creating magical memories with family and friends, but I find it so easy to become overwhelmed this time of year in all the hustle and bustle. Plus, throw in son #1 birthday December 6 and son #2 birthday January 3 and our schedule is as jam-packed as one can possibly be. It’s bursting at the seam people, like my jeans after two Thanksgiving dinners.
I say I’m going to simplify every year, but this year I Mean It.
This year I’m letting go of the thing I enjoy the least.
The thing that is most high maintenance.
The annoyance that requires me to set my alarm clock early every morning in December and scramble around like a mad woman.
This year I’m pulling the Welcome Mat on our Elf on The Shelf, Elf Chuggington who last year was renamed to Elf Steve. I’m over it. We’re breaking up and it’s not me it’s him. My oldest hasn’t even asked about him, so maybe he’s over him too. My youngest was too young last year to remember him. So this may just the cleanest invisible break up of all time. Hallelujah!
I’m thinking our elf should be like….
Due to Santa’s increased work schedule, the rising cost of magical flying dust, and the fact there seems to be less hours in the day, we unfortunately need to make some significant adjustments this holiday season. Effective, immediately the nightly flights to the North Pole to report your boys’ behaviors to my boss, Mr. Claus have been cancelled. Instead your parents will be watching your behavior as they do 365 days a year. And they actually love you more than I do, so you would think that you would want to behave for them more anyways?
So no homemade cookies this year. Before your cry your crocodile tears don’t fret. It’s my understanding vendors drop off sweets at daddy’s work everyday in December so really do you need homemade cookies imposterly made by little old me, an Elf. No, no you do not.
Remember the Epic pillow fight I had last year resulting with feathers flying everywhere? Hindsight, we probably should have helped your mom sweep those peaky feathers up before she had to go to work.
One of my favorite memories, skydiving through the kitchen last year resulted in an injury…for mom. I still feel really bad about that.
Ahhh and that divine bubble bath I had for myself. Seriously why the special treatment? Your mom hasn’t had a bubble bath since 2005.
Oh and then I made my own igloo to chill and relax, remember? As if I needed to relax from doing none of the work.
Last that green milk was such a hit, right?Classic, but you do know how much Horizon Organic Milk is don’t you? So refusing to drink it because it’s green, not cool. Not cool at all.
And now I have a whole crew of reindeers, friends heck I even have clothes and props. Seriously I’ve become a life of my own, and seeing that you real humans have a busy life of your own this is my year to Peace Out.
Thanks for the Memories,
Elf Steve, Formerly Elf Chuggington, Dylan & Blake’s Elf on the Shelf
ps – I’m not anti-Elf, I actually love seeing others adventures with the little guy. So Elf on, but this year for us (me) he’s staying in the North Pole (I mean really with all the technological advances the trips back and forth seem really unnecessary 😉